*|Cambodia
Did I say I was sad? A week ago, Malcolm, Pang Ren, Jit and I finally settle everything and buy air tickets for the Cambodia trip. But the very next day, the newspaper reported about dengue fever and I ended up not being able to go. I know everyone is telling me not to go and that it is for my good. I know that too. I don't want to get dengue fever and end up not going for my USA trip. But that does not mean I I don't feel sad. I have heard many people telling me not to go and each time I just end up being sad.
This coming Saturday I am sending them off at the airport. I don't know how I will be feeling that day. All I know is on that day, I have to wear the smile the whole day. I could be in that plane. I even have the air tickets booked under my name. I even got a seat in the plane. I have hostel reservations in Cambodia. So near yet so far.
I know I can put on a smile the whole day. I always do that in the past. This is no different. Just have to smile for about 8hrs and after they enter the gates, I can be myself again. I know I feel sad. I know I end up crying. I wanted so much to go for the trip and I could, had everything done, really to go and yet I couldn't. I feel bad for causing my parents to waste that sum of money. Am I really a girl who always waste my parent's money? I really didn't want to. I really didn't. But this time round I can't help it. I'm sorry.
*|cailing scribbled on the sand at 10:40 PM|*
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