*|Sigh...
My hols have officially started but I dun want it to start. Life has become very empty all of a sudden. Empty as in there is nth to do except slack around at home or go to work. I prefer waking up each morning looking forward to my xmas play rehearsals. I missed all tat. Life now is like very meaningless. All I do at home is watch VCD. Even the job at Fullerton is not exciting or interesting anymore. Being thinking about wad course I am going to take in university. All I can think of is the performing arts but there is no such courses in this area in the universities in Singapore. I wanna learn to dance! but was never given an opportunity to do so. Since primary 1 till now, I am still interested in the performing arts area. I AM LOST IN THIS HECTIC WORLD! If only GOD can show me a way... bu then again, maybe GOD did show a way but I didnt c it. Guess I should have more faith in GOD tat HE will guide me and show me the path I should take.
*|cailing scribbled on the sand at 10:51 PM|*
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*|EXCITED
Today watched "Phantom of the opera". It is a damn good show. I luv it especailly the music. I am so going to buy the soundtrack. I just luv tat musical so much. The storp plot is really not bad at all. It was confusing at 1st, was trying to figure out who was who but while the time we were halfway into the show, we already know who the characters are. Their singing is fantastic. Haha if only I could sing as good as them. It is really worth watching. Really worth $8.50. Great story. Great music. Great movie!
YEAH!!! Zi Xuan coming back to Singapore tml. Miss her! I think I miss Karin even more. She be coming back only on the 10th of Jan. Haiz but the person I miss most is of course, PEI SHI. Havn't seen her for months liao. Hope she is doing great in New Zealand. Wonder when she is coming back to Singapore for a short holiday.
I am so happy!!! Ri Xin is going to teach me piano!!! YEAH! Haha My wish finally came true after 12 years. Have been wanting to learn it since primary 1 but my parents dun allow. Now I can finally learn but of course, have to pay own piano lessons fees. Ri Xin is charging me $50 a mth for 4 or 5 sessions. Each an hr long. Yeah! I can afford it... All I need is to work a few days in Fullerton and I can pay for it. Hee Hee, gd thing I got a keyboard to practice at home. Dun hav a piano but keyboard is better than nth liao. :) So exciting. Now I got 2 teachers. My drum teacher: Fu cher and my piano cher: Chen cher. Haha YEAH SO EXCITED. Ok time to go sleep. Having a really bad headache. Oh almost forget about this, tml I be checking out the hp avaliables and the various offers. I am either getting Nokia 6230 or Sony Ericsson K700i. But if I were to get K700i, I have to switch from M1 to Singtel. Oh man... only Singtel got tat offer but I really prefer M1 plans. Dunno wad to do... Guess I c how tml. G2g. GOOD NIGHT!!!
*|cailing scribbled on the sand at 1:17 AM|*
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*|CHRISTMAS PLAY AND CHRISTMAS
Today is christmas day. So many things have happened in the past few days. On the 23rd of dec, there was my church xmas play. So sad, I asked a few groups of my frens if they could come but not even one of them went. Oh well...guess it wasn't meant to be. I acted as Zi Ling, was so nervous tat day. Was afraid tat I forget my lines. We had a dry run tat day and all of us were very tensed. There was a part in the play tat Ke Xin and me was supposed to watch this short clip of the "Passion of the Christ". The part tat Jesus was nailed on the cross. But in the end, we decided not to show it cos some ppl may not be able to take it... all the blood and all tat. Wads more it is M18. When I watched it, I still end up crying. Very touched tat God really love us tat much. It is just so amazing! :)
Before the actual thing started, Karin tok to us. She reminded us once again to speak louder and not to get out of character which Enoch and I always do when sth goes wrong. She also told us tat some of our rehearsal are so good tat we can actually acted out there and then. She told us to do our best. Haha wad a director! Luv u GAL! :p
The play is so sad. Ashley, my best fren committed suicide. In the end, only left Ke Xin and me (Zi Ling). Ashley is a non christian who is so successful and very popular in school. Yet at home, no one cared about her. She felt neglected and in the end, committed sucide. Ke Xin is a christian who is not so serious about God initially till after Ashley's death, she started 2 regret not helping Ashley discover this wonderful God tat she knew. She then started to introduce God to Zi Ling. Zi Ling is a follower. Wadever ppl says, she do. Tat is how she is. She is blur too. It is only after Ashley's death tat she started to wonder whether there is more to life than just studies and work. She then slowly get to know God thru Zi Ling. In the end, she accepted HIM. De Fend is Ke Xin's bf. They broke up in the end cos their priorities in life are so different. Ke Xin want to focus her life on God as for De Feng, he thinks tat ppl should just enjoy life while they can. To Ke Xin, God is more impt than De Feng. This is so sad! But I am glad tat God have worked thru us to touch the hearts of our frens who were there. Heard tat some ppl were so touched tat they cried. I dun really know cos the spotlight is like shining directly in our eyes. Can hardly c a thing. All we c our sillouettes. Cant even c the faces of our frens. Karin say we did great tat day and gave us FLOWERS!!! HAHA. After the play tat day I had fun mingling wif my church frens. Yi Cong, Dennis, Yi Yew they all very crappy and funny. Haha. I havnt seen them for quite some time liao. Haha Miss them all.
Anyway, we had a repeat telecast of our xmas play on the 24th of dec in church. This time it was a bit messy cos ttheir is no spotlight. I mean... There are spotlights but the spotlights take 30 seconds plus to light up... Tat is like too long. In the end, all of our shifting of props are done with the lights on. Wads more, the wireless microphone not working properly. I already talked very loudly. I was practically shouting but apparently, my lines cant be heard clearly. Haiz~ Still rmb the rehearsal we had that day for our final performance at 8pm plus. Our rehearsal was a disaster. All of us were not serious and we ended up toking craps and acting in parts tat are super exagerrating. LOL, we practically screwed up the whole rehearsal. If Karin was there (Our director, she left on the 24th dec after our 1st performance on the 23rd dec for America... so actually yesterday (Xmas eve) we didnt have our director with us), she surely scold one. I bet she will. When the actual thing started, it went well except for all those technical problems which cant be helped. There is nth we can do.
The comment tat we heard after the play was tat we did great and tat the part where both Ke Xin and me was shocked stift after hearing the bad news tat Ashley died captured the audience's full attention. :) I very glad tat God was there thru out the whole play. He brought us thru the whole thing right from the time we first start writing the story to the time where we performed it in church and at third place (hope centre).
After tat, I went over to Jing Ting's house stay overnight. Did all the xmas presents till 330am. Very late liao right? But Yi Con, Cedric they all win liao... They played pool till 3am plus and then walked from Orchard to Jing Ting's house at Novena cos there was no transport. MY GOSH, they are crazy. I cant imagine myself doing tat. Haha was like santa claus today... give out presents and all and received some too. THANKS PPL!!! Hee hee... today watched the movie "Kung Fu Hustle". My gosh... it is chao lame lor. Cant stand it!!! It is very funny too. Love the ending. But somehow I still think it is not worth $8.50. Oh well, tml be watching "Phatom of the opera" with Ri Xin they all. YEAH!!! I love musicals, cant wait to watch it. Haha got to write letters in reply to all the letters tat I got today for xmas from my frens! Cant wait 4 tml :p
Oops I cant believe I forgot to mention this... Presenting to u the ppl involved in the church xmas play "wei wan cheng"
Director: Karin Fu
Initiator: Hwee Min
Lighting: Eunice
Sound: Hwee Shan
Music Director: Jing Ting
Props: Si Xiu
Actors and actress...
Ashley Khoo: Hui Nan
Zhao Ke Xin: Ri Xin
Mo Zi Ling: Cai Ling
Xu De Feng (Ke Xin's BF): Cedric
Gu Ke Le (Shy guy) : Enoch
Xiao Yi Xuan (Shy guy's fren): Hwee Min
Ashley's mother: Yi Ping
Ashley's father: Shao Cheng
Teacher: Tie Fang
*|cailing scribbled on the sand at 9:25 PM|*
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*|Busy busy me
Got to go work soon. Shall blog a bit 1st. Am listening to the song "Give me one reason" by Zoegirl. It is really really nice. If u reading my blog then the song u hearing now is e song that I had just mentioned. Read Pei Shi's email. I missed her. Wad she said about the bonds we forged and about us being closer to God is true. Really touched. Thanks God 4 everything. If only I could cry like I always do when I am sad or angry during the play... tat be good. I will try to get deep into character today and cry. Haiz~ It is tough but WILL TRY! Haha... no more time to blog. Time to start packing up and putting on make up for work. Today's schedule: Work in the afternoon, do doorgift in the evening, rehearsal 4 xmas play at night!
*|cailing scribbled on the sand at 9:33 AM|*
*|Camp and xmas production!
Camp is ultra fun!!! I learnt a lot of stuff about God and all tat. Hee Hee The camp has brought me one step closer to God. Sth happen during the camp and I was so upset about it tat I cried. I really cried my heart out... not once but 4 times. Good thing I had Enoch and Hwee Min standing by me. Actually tat only makes me cry harder cos God gave me frens when I needed them. I cried during the praise and worship session when Shan Shan lao shi shared her stuff. The song was so touching and after tat all the songs were about God's love. I couldn't hold back my tears. Just kept crying. The past 2 days of camp was torture 4 me. Full of sadness and loneliness and I kept wishing I didnt go for camp. Kept wishing it be all over. The person I wanted to confide in most couldnt be there 4 me. But during e praises and worship session... while singing the songs, I just can feel God's love, his comfort. It feels really good to be in his embrace. I never want to leave it. From then on I was much happier cos no matter how some ppl may dislike me, be it my very best fren or some other ppl, God will still love me for who I am. I am happy wif tat and so I cried a lot tat day. Come to think of it, it was so embarrassing, I was one of the back up singers and I couldnt sing a lot of the songs cos I was crying. Somehow I was smiling, laughing and crying at e same time. Crying cos I am so touched tat God loves me. Smiling and laughing cos I know tat with God, no matter how sad I may be, God be there to bring me thru and HE brighten up my life always and always. Really must thank God for everything HE done for me. Thank him for giving me a mortal during the camp to listen to my troubles. THANK YOU GOD!!!
Xmas production rehearsal is going more smoothly each day! Hwee Min suggested using this song "Give me one reason" by Zoegirl for the skit. It remind me of sth tat happen during my 18th bday. I liked this guy but somehow I kept thinking of him and it got in the way of my studies. Finally on my bday, I picked up the courage to ask God to tell me if whether it be worth to be with tat guy. Somehow in my heart, I knew the answer would be no and true enough, God told me no. I cried at lot tat day. I realised tat it is time for me to face reality tat day. The guy did tell me he had a crush on me but I didnt reply him then. Actually the truth is I do like him but if God says no then I will listen to God instead. It is realy tough to do tat but God knows wad best for me, I should do wad he says cos God will never says things or tell me to do things tat He knows will do no good to me. I accepted it after much tears... haha on my 18th bday somemore but if tats e right thing to do, I will do it. I will listen to God. This song "Give me one reason" really reminds me of tat guy but I deal wif it somehow. I will learn to let go and move on. With God by my side, it be much easier to get on wif life. It will be.
"Give me one reason" by Zoegirl
Give me one reason to live without Him
Give me one reason to walk away
I know you don't understand this feeling
How can I show
That He is the reason I have to let you go
I've tried so hard to change your mind
I always thought that you'd understand the reasons why
Why I don't want to do the things that I used to do
Now that my heart and my soul belong to God and God alone
Still every night's a fight to make it through
I can't deny I'm still in love with you
But how can you expect me to
Walk with Him and give myself to you
Give me one reason to live without Him
Give me one reason to walk away
I know you don't understand this feeling
How can I show
That He is the reason I have to let you go
Boy, I still long for your embrace
But what I've found in God, oh, it could never ever be replaced
Still I pray for the chance
As you slip through my hands you'll come around
But your heart's so far away from the words I'm trying to say
Wish I could hold you both and still be true
There's only one thing left for me to do
Baby, I love you
But I can't stay with you unless you love Him too
Give me one reason to live without Him
Give me one reason to walk away
I know you don't understand this feeling
How can I show
That He is the reason I have to let you go
I've found the path that I've gotta take
No turning back, back to the old ways
Got a chance to take
Sacrifice to make
Whatever it takes I won't turn away
Give me one reason to live without Him
Give me one reason to walk away
I know you don't understand this feeling
How can I show
That He is the reason I have to let you go
Give me one reason to live without Him
Give me one reason to walk away
I know you don't understand this feeling
How can I show
That He is the reason I have to let you go
*|cailing scribbled on the sand at 1:02 AM|*
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*|Latest Stuff
Haha It has been some time since I last blog... But tat was cos I was super busy wif prom(actually not really) and CHURCH CAMP 2004. Prom was fun... took many photos. Preparation for camp was rather last min... cos most of us just finish exam and by the time we start doing our preparation, we realise we only got like 1 week left. Whoa... Stressed like siao. We had to buy all the breadfast stuff, pack them into boxes, do the prizes and the camp booklet. Oh yah we had to try out the games, do the amazing race, practise the HAKKA CHEER, do the campfire dance, play the campfire games. WAS VERY VERY STRESSED cos our pre camp started only 3 days before the actual camp.
Haiz dun feel like typing anymore... wanna go sleep. SUPER TIRED. good night
*|cailing scribbled on the sand at 10:36 PM|*
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*|Today
Had a great time this morning fixing jigsaw puzzle with suzanna jie jie. I love them... always did since young. It is really satisfying to c e picture slowly taking its shape. Haha Really love doing them. Was helping Jon Jon fix his. A really tough picture!!! 99% of the puzzle is brown!!! Had to turn to the fine details in order to piece them together but I only manage to complete haf e picture before I went home to get my stuff.
Went shopping wif Si Xiu at Junction 8 this afternoon. Whoa... They revamped tat place and it is really great. Haha had fun looking all around. I bought a pair of slippers... Just wad I needed. Haha switch one of it wif Si Xiu... so now I have a pair of slipper... one yellow the other blue!!! Yeah... But my mother going to throw away my black and white slippers. The pair tat I really love a lot. My first flip flop. I love the design too. But there it goes... down the rubbish chute. Haiz~ Love it so much. Oh well... I can no longer wear it anyway especially on rainy days cos it is totally frictionless. Haiz~
Now uploading the photos tat I taken during Karin's 21st birthday. It be up on my blog soon. Tml is prom... so fast... ARGH!!! I almost forgot to do my braclet... Cant believe I forgot about tat. Ok now I shall go do a braclet if I can think of a design tat is!
*|cailing scribbled on the sand at 8:35 PM|*
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*|Updates
On Monday... met Xiu Jing and Pei Yun at Woodlands MRT station. We went to Yun's biao jie's house. She helped highlight Xiu's hair and it is so nice. It is sorta bright brown. Actully it isnt that bright but under the light it is bright but tat is so so nice. Haha Xiu a bit dun like it cos she think to bright. Oh well... different people different taste. But it is really nice on her. As for me I will never dye my hair (1) Dying my haor will cause it to be super dry (2) Make a bet with Xiu tat I will not dye my hair before 30 years old (3) My parents will kill me if I dye.
Anyway after tat, we went to Far East. I wanted to buy the chain like silver metal belt tat goes well with my prom dress but when I went there... The belt is SOLD OUT!!! At tat time, I really regret not buying it on the same day tat I buy my prom dress. Haiz... oh well, decided to go Bugis to check out whether they sell belt a not. Anyway, after tat we went to City Link Mall to look at the heels sold at Charles & Keith and VNC but found nth tat we like. Went to Suntec City Cocoa trees next... Haha cant believe Xiu... After so many mths, she still have some cocoa trees vouchers left. I used them all liao long time ago. The chocolates are so tempting. I almost buy the Ritter Sport Corn crisp chocolate. Love tat... butI better not eat it cos I dun wanna fall ill since Sunday got rather caught in the rain... was drentched (is my spelling correct???) from head to toe. We also buy Red Earth lip gross at $18 (quite ex) at Espirit. Mine is purplish pink lip gloss. Xiu's is pinkish.
We headed to Bugis after tat. Found earrings tat sold at $6 for e 1st pair and $4 4 the next pair. Hee hee... ended up buying our earrings. Mine is a dangling one. 2 large circles of different sizes with a star in the centre. Xiu was sth like a lighting with blue crystals at intervals... it is so beautiful. Haha We also went to Sasa to buy some stuff. Xiu got her eye shadow stuff here while I bought my nail polish there at only $2. It is transparent with stars. Erm... I LOVE IT!!! Did my nails lliao and love the way they turn out. :)
Walked round Bugis and the Edge but we still couldnt find any nice belts. Haiz so I suggested going to Bugis village and to do tat we cut thru Seiyu. At tat time, both of us were like super tired... We hav been walking for very very long so decided to go to the shoe section to take a seat and guess wad... While walking towards the seats, we saw this section of Seiyu where they sell chain like belt. Haha at first found the belt with the same design but it is more of a blackish silver. Almost buy it but then realise there is something wrong with the part... it is a bit spoilt so went to find a new piece. Got another belt but found out the hook is not working properly so went to look again and guess wad... I saw the silver chain like belt. It is the exact same one tat I wanna buy at Shibuya (Far East). I cant believe I am so lucky and it is only $29. Haha If I did buy the belt the other day, I would hav paid $35.90. Get to save a bit of money.
So happy but I left with heels. Decided to check out the heels tat Yun told me about in IMM. Went there but they dun hav my size. In the end I went to Westmall to look at the heels on offer from Noda. Oh and I saw this silver heels tat I totally like. It is those strappy strappy type. Love it a lot but then realise it is buy 1 get 1 free so hav to choose another pair of shoes. So in the end, I got 2 heels, one silver, the other red. The best part is, it only cost me a total of $13.90 for both heels. Cheap right. I look at the receipt and realise tat the usual price of both shoes is $50 plus and $60 plus. Wow damn ex. Cant believe I got it at such a cheap price!!!
Anyway, yesterday (Tuesday) went swimming at CCK swimming complex with Ri Xin and Si Xiu. Haiz I only know freestyle and I cant swim the whole length of the swimming pool cos I lack the stamina. Will swim haf way then stop cos super tiring. Breaststroke is so much easier less enrgy consuming but I only know freestyle! Unless I train if not I will never be able to swim the whole length of the deep pool without stopping. We had fun and as usual, I got a tan. I dun wan a tan!!! I get tanned by the sun so easily. Haiz. After tat, we went to westmall ate Xmas Whooper Feast. Love the chicken whooper. Hee Hee. In the evening, I went out with Jing Ting to watch this movie "Without a paddle" at Golden Village Marina. She won 2 free tickets for the show in a lucky draw! The GV at Marina is damn isolated. Almost cant find it. But the movie... IT IS GOOD!!! It is so funny... enjoyed every second of it. Really really worth watching!!! Haha some parts really spactic... 3 boys finding D.B treasure... got lost on the way, chased by bear, running into 2 drug dealers, met 2 hot chicks and all tat. So funny!!! Really worth watching! Tat is one great movie!
*|cailing scribbled on the sand at 11:50 PM|*
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