*|Piano
I think my fingers are not flexible enough. I had this music score which has me keeping my fingers stretched across seven keys through out the entire piece. My fingers are hurting now, pretty badly in fact. Oh well, I should go practice more instead of complaining. I wish I had a piano though instead of a keyboard. It makes so much difference. Oh well, I shall just make do with I have. It is after all better than nothing.
*|cailing scribbled on the sand at 11:19 PM|*
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*|Rain
It's raining again. I miss the rain. It has been a while since the clouds let their tears fall heavily. It's late now but I don't think I want to go to sleep so early. I just want to listen the music and enjoy the rain while it lasts. I admit I am a weird girl sometimes and I won't deny that fact. Haha... It's time like these that I would love to just lie down and chill. Chilly weather, godly music, falling raindrops, what more can I ask. I don't know why but suddenly this reminds me of Huay Hok. I miss the place. I miss the kids there.
*|cailing scribbled on the sand at 12:53 AM|*
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*|Rare sightings of things
Yesterday Ellen and I had a small traumatic exerience. I don't know who got it worse, the uncle or us. We went to the Sembawang hot spring. Initially, we were the only people there. We were happily soaking our feets and cooking eggs when this uncle came. He made a make shift bath cubicle using only containers and bathed there. I am alright with that. Frankly speaking, I have no interest in looking at him.
After his hot bath, he wrapped a short towel round his waist. He was walking towards the centre hotspring. At that point of time we were soaking our feet at the corner hotspring as the water temperature is less hot. The uncle squatted down to wash his underwear and AR!!! I think you should know what happens when you wear only a short towel and squat down in it. We saw it all and it's not like we love looking in that direction. It just so happened that our bags and eggs were placed beside the centre hotspring. WE SAW! It was kinda traumatic. Ok, I admit I saw that many times during foundation drawing classes with naked Benny but still I don't want see it! Of course if it was that of our lover or a hot guy, we would not have mind. Traumatizing but come to think of it, it's kinda funny after a while. God thing, the view was not up close and personal. Phew... He was quite a distance away. Benny was much worse espcially so when he is posing on the platform at a distance less than 2m away.
By the way, our eggs took more than 45mins to be cooked to a half boiled eggs status. Pretty long if you asked me.
We went to Orchard and I spotted this guy about mid thrities with wavy locks of blacks, greys and whites. He was really handsome, with a face that was somewhat like Richard Gere. He looked sophistocated and stylish. When I spotted him, he happened to be turning his head and it felt like it was some sort of advertisement for hair shampoo. Haha... It did kinda remind me of Priince Charming in Shrek in terms of the way he did the head turn. Too bad, that guy's dressing was bit off if not he looked good on the overall. Haha... Got scolded by one of them (them as in Shi Qi, Ellen and Ying Han) for looking at guys when Jit is not around. Hey I admire his features but the only guy I truely love looking at is Jit. I don't go about drooling over every guy that walks past me.
I better get back to doing my work. Enough blogging for now. Maybe in 2 or 3 years time, I will read through my entire blog. Wonder how I will feel then. All the memories... sorrow... joy... friendships...
*|cailing scribbled on the sand at 11:18 AM|*
*|Pluck
Went to watch "Pluck" today with my friends. It was hilarious. Seriously their playing was good and the lady... WOW She is strong! She rests the cello on her shoulder and she dances with her cello during the performance. That must be quite heavy and she does that all with her shoulder and aa arm. Love the performace. It's really funny. I didn't regret going though organising an outing there was bit tough.
I wish Jit was there but oh well. Today Pang Ren asked me whther I did cried when I missed him. I lied, I did. Just twice. I was stressed then and I wished I had Jit by my side then. He would have made me laughed but because I was by myself, I ended up crying on top of the fact that I missed him lots. Sigh... I don't see him often on MSN and we communicated through email. I have a lot of stuffs to tell him, things that happened etc but I rather say it face to face because I doubt he has time to read those long emails anyway. In the end, the emails just gets shorter and shorter somehow.
,br>I don't know... Just wish he is back here but at the same time I wish he could stay longer in USA, because it is seldom you get to there and tour while having to attend a conference there. What are the chances you might go back there again. I would have wished he stay even longer but I too wished he is back home. Contradictory. Oh well... it's just me. Guess it's really just me.
*|cailing scribbled on the sand at 1:48 AM|*
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*|Happiness and thanks...
Its super late now. In about 4 hrs time I have to wake up to go for exam but I am still online chatting away with my Hui Ting. It has been a long time since I chatted with her. I realised how much I miss the good old days. Haha... This whole week was like a 'back to the good old days' week. I feel so happy that I want to cry for joy. Haha Hours ago I was so stressed up that I broke down and cried but Zi Xuan came along and her words provided me with comfort. Friends are indeed more important than exams. Though I be tired when I go to the exam hall but I can be sure that I never will once regret having spend my time to chat with her and catch up on lots of stuff. She is after all my childhood friend. I have known her since NURSERY days. Haha... Pretty long friendship.
I am so much destressed now and I have finished studying! Woo Hoo! Haha... Jit away for one week and so many things happened. LOL... Ok I better get going. Start packing bag for the exam later! Ciao. Sleep well people! Thanks... and a big hug to all!
*|cailing scribbled on the sand at 2:20 AM|*
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*|Thank you God. Thank you Ophe.
Thanks Ophe. Haha You must have passed it to me. I broke down. I couldn't take the stress. I can't eat much.I can't sleep much. I can't stay put. I am all tensed up. Thank you Ophe for what you said.
Thank you God. I know you the one I can count on. When I have reached the end of road, you are still there for me. Its dumb of me to try to take on everything on my own shoulders. It hurts. It kills me and I can't handle it. God, I am glad I can always rely on you. You are the only one who understand me totally and can share my burden. Thank you for this special friend of mine that you send me... Ophe. Thanks
Thank you Ophe. I couldn't have done it without you. You still the person I confide in even though you are miles away in Australia. Thanks dear. Really appreciate it. You really are the best friend that I can ever have. Haha... No worries. I stop crying liao. You have helped a lot. God has helped a lot. Thanks. ONE BIG HUG FOR YOU!
*|cailing scribbled on the sand at 9:10 PM|*
*|Can't let it get to me
Caroline, get a grip on yourself! ARGH! I am trying to study but nothing is going in. My stomach is churning with butterflies. The stupid nightmare is still in my brain. I am still thinking of other stuff. The plan to go out with my secondary school friends is cancelled once more. ARGH! Someone save me from all these. Help! I can't let the stress get to me. Can't let it get to me!
*|cailing scribbled on the sand at 10:14 AM|*
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*|I am home finally...
It's time for a long post again though it is just as update of yesterday and today's event. Anyway the clouds finally decided to let out their tears. It's raining. It has been quite a way since it rained. I miss the rain. Now the chill will be back in the air. No more hot air for the time being!
My meals are pretty much in a mess during the school holidays. The things I eat and the time of meals are pretty much random. Yesterday I had a loaf of bread for breakfast and lunch. Well, it's half a loaf actually. The other half went to the fish, tortoises and swans in Botanic Garden and to 5 young boys who I decided to share my bread with. They were happy feeding them alongside me. Haha. I don't know why I went there. I just remembered that I went there with Ellen once and decided to go back there again. Wish she was there with me once more. I really want to see the happy Ellen again. I am worried for her but I can't seem to do anything for her that will her up. All I can do is just be there if she needs me. Sigh...
Today, I went with Ying Han to send Wang Xun off. She happens to be the only girl in the group. The guys are a bit... erm... how shall I put it... a bit not gentlemen enough. They went into the gates without waiting for Wang Xun and the oddest thing is that their flight is at 1050am and at the time they went into the gates, it wasn't even 930am!!! That's BIT TOO EARLY! Ying Han and I couldn't talk much to Wang Xun. We only exchange a few words before she went in. As for Jeffrey, he came long after they went in but before the plane left. It was bit late but he still managed to say goodbye through the phone. One big thanks to technology! Cheers! Haha.
Went to Benjamin Spears Bridge. I walked to the end of the bridge today and wanted to explore the area under the bridge but I just keep having the feeling that I should not go any further. Glad I didn't because I was by myself then. If anything were to happen to me, no one could be there to help me out. Well except God, no one else will be there. But I didn't regret that long walk. The sea breeze was fantastic. The wind in my face. Relaxation. Haiz... Jit is now in San Francisco. I do miss him lots. It's weird not having him around. Guess that is how I unknowingly end up in places that both of went to before in the past. But I don't mid that, it really has been a long time since I explore all by myself.
Anyway, I decided to end my roaming around earlier today. I took the bus and reached Westmall at around 5pm. When I saw the evening sun still up there in the sky beaming down on us, I could not help but feel like I am finally home. It has been a long time since I went to Westmall in the evening. It has been a long time since I walked sown the covered walkway towards my block in the evening sun. It has been a long time since I went home early before the sun sets. It has been a long time since I ran over to my godmother's house to play with my god niece and god nephew. It has been a long time since I did all that. It has been for about a year. It's funny how I miss home when in fact, I go home everyday. But today I seriously miss the times when I spend my evening at home, doing stuff on my laptop and eating fruits while doing so. I really miss all that. I really do. I am glad I am finally home. I am glad.
*|cailing scribbled on the sand at 7:48 PM|*
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*|It has been a long time...
It has been a long time since I went over to my godmother's house to play with my god niece and god nephews. I miss them. Being busy with school and going out everydayexploring different parts of Singapore and watching movies. It's funny how you miss someone when there are not there. Indeed, my god family aren't here in Singapore right now. They are at Afamosa and Tioman. Really hope they enjoy themselves there.
It has been a long time since da ban did something crazy. Yah, I know we are old but that does not mean we are not young at heart. Yesterday, was it Cephas or Winston or whoever came up with this rule that the last person to reach class will have to buy tibits for next week lesson. Suddenly the whole group pf us just dash out the dinning area. Haha... Who would expect adults (21 and above) to behave in such a way. LOL We did yesterday. What a sight! But oops... We didn't keep the thables or chairs like we supposed to each time because of this.
It has been a long time since da ban (my cell group) went for an outing. Yesterday we agreed to go out on the 17th June. Be it Jing Ting's house or Karin's house or just a trip to the movies, we are fully prepared to go out together and have a blast of a time. It's time we caught up with one another. Everyone is either busy with school or work that sometimes we forgot to just chill and hand out with one another.
It has been a long time since the youths in my church went out for an outing. The last I remember was a Sembawang Park outing. Now we are heading off to ECP on the 30 June instead of having a salt shaker service. Woo Hoo... It really has been a long while since we went out as a big group. I miss those good old days where we go shopping or chit chat after Sunday Oikos service. Now that is Saltshaker, we no longer go out after service because by then it is too late, 9pm plus. All of us head home instead.
It has been a long time since I meet up with my sec sch frens! And I be seeing them this coming Tuesday. Haha... Miss you all. Erm... the last time we met was a few months ago for steamboat but at that time Jye Min wasn't there. Hope this time, she come. I havn't seen Tin Song, Wei Da, Terence for ages. I wonder what is going on in their lives right now.
It has been a long time since I meet up with my JC frens. Ok ok, partly my fault cos I don't have time to meet up with them to go buy BELATED birthday presents. Oops! Hee... Maybe I better go sms Xiu and Pit, see when they are free.
It has been a long time since I saw Zi Xuan and Ri Xin. Zi Xuan coming back on 8th July before flying off to Perth again on the 22th July I think. As for Ri Xin, think she coming back on the 13th July. YEAH! Everyone is coming back. I wonder when Bao Juan will. She is in UK I think. Take care all 3 of you.
It has been a long time since I went to Esplanade to watch the outdoor performance. Well, it's not my fault that I can't now because they have tore down the outdoor theatre. Their plan was to build one that is closer to the edge of the sea. Frankly speaking, I don't see much of a difference. I miss all the performances. I remember in the past, I used to go to Esplanade every Sat or Sun. I will sit there waiting for the performance to start while I feel the sea breeze in my hair. Or sometimes I even went to watch the firework alone. It really has been a long time since I go out by myself and wander around, popping my head in places I don't know. It really has been a long time...
It has been a long time since I wrote such a long post. Haha And it's my first time I wrote a post that has every paragraphs starting with "It has been a long time since..." God, it really has been a long time...
*|cailing scribbled on the sand at 10:37 AM|*
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*|He...
Jit has left for San Francisco. It's weird not having around. Anyway, I was watching "I'm not stupid 2". It's really good. Really love the whole plot. It had me crying my eyes out. My eyes are really sore and painful now. The ending... If only everyone could be like that, if only. If only everyone could encpurage and praise one another instead of just seeing the flaws of the person. I know how much it hurts to be scolded useless, good for nothing. It really hurts. The words though few are impactful enough. It pierce straight to the heart and it takes years to recover or maybe never. The scars it leaves, the wound... It's not easy to get over it. Frankly speaking I havn't really but at least its healing because of 3 simple words God said to me "I love you' and I know... I can feel the pure, unconditional love. No one can ever love like God. No one can. That is how I know God is real. God exists. He really does and he loves all of us so. He is the only one who would be there when everyone walks out. He comforts. He cares. He encourages. He praises. He loves.
*|cailing scribbled on the sand at 11:11 PM|*
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