I am really tired these few days especially now. Pretty much drained of all energy. Ought to go sleep but I just have to blog about this. Today service was not bad and after many quiet weeks, I felt the Holy Spirit and God calling me.

Pastor Jonathan told us to step forward to those who felt it and wanna respond to it so he could pray individually for each of us. I did and I am so glad about it. Tears fell. All the pent up emotions I had finally found a way out. He prayed that God knew I had low self esteem and that I am always asking why such stuffs happen to me. Why me? And God told me that he knows it all. He saw it all and I just can't help feeling touched that God knows it and He understands and Him being someone so big and important would see me worthy of His care and corcern. I know the pastor is really speaking through the Holy Spirit because there is no way for him to know all that. What he mentioned in his prayer for me was stuff I didn't mention a word to him about. I was facing family problems. Well, still am till today but it's way much better.

And he prayed that I will soon find my purpose in life. I mean I sort of know but it's too general and that he said that God wants me to surrrender my life to Him. That is something I wanted to do but it seems like instead of doing that, I ended up controlling my own life, doing things my way instead of God's. And it always ended up in a mess and my relationship with God will become further and further. I wanna come back to God. I don't wanna back slide. First of all, something I need to do is sleep because I can't do any work for Him if I am physically drained.

Yup, time to sleep. Thanks God!