Back from church children's camp. I think I was really bad during the camp and I am really lousy in a lot of things. I don't feel like leading praise and worship session anymore because no matter how many times I tried, it is always a failure. Like during the camp one, when I lead not many kids sang anyway, not getting any response and I kinda like gave up half way during the session. I just wanted then was to get it done and over with. I know I should not be like that but I just could not help it but feel thata I have once more failed again.

And I guess it kinda go the same for the sharing session. I shared and I don't, maybe it is because I didn't share enough or either that I am really not good at it. There was this awkward silence in my group and I tried calling Xin Min over but then I saw her being very focused sharing with her group that I didn't want her to come over and help. I really feel like I have let God down and let this opportunity come to waste. Am I really that bad at all this. I really really tried my best or maybe I just didn't tried enough. I don't know.

And I guess this kinda affected me for the whole camp. Was not very enthu about much of the camp and well I was quite hot-tempered. I can't stand the kids. Sometimes they just don't know when to behave and I just started shouting at them, well... not really shouted... kinda talked to them in an angry tone or wadever. I dunno, maybe I am not cut out for this. Consider if I should continue helping out in church children's camp, maybe not next year, maybe as a camper or maybe just not at all. Afterall, I don't think I really did much during the camp. I don't seem to have really helped at all. Instead I felt that I have let more people down and I did especially God.