I have started to read this daily devotional "Our Journey" and it really helps a lot. Today's entry is about a life of gratitude and true enough, active gratitude does cure self- or society-induced dissatisfaction.

I have always complaim about my family. Well many things had happened these past few years, some hurtful... well, it doesn't matters anymore i guess. Cos the important thing is that at least I still have a family. Compared to those orphans, I am so much better off. Guess it is time I pick up from where I left off... Am I making sense here? It's time I really start talking more to my parents, at least start to involve them in my life more. Really thankful to God that all these years despite all the arguments and fights, my family never did break apart though on certain occasions it almost did and I can still remember withdrawing to a corner of a room, crying and praying and wishing that God will keep my family together and that my parents will not go seperate ways. And they didn't. Thank you God.

God is one of my best friends ever. He has been with me through my hard times. My strength and comfort and shelter. Maybe it is because He is so much easier to talk to and He knows everything, He knows. God is the only one that I don't feel embarassed of ashamed breaking down and crying in front of. Maybe this is why it is so hard to share my problems with my friends because I know at some point of time, I break down in tears and I don't want them to see it. But I guess sometimes it feels good to have a shoulder to cry on.

Did I mention that I am starting piano lesson this coming August. Starting from Grade 1 though... kinda embarassing, 20 years old and only grade 1. But I guess there is nothing I can do about it. I waited for 13 years just for this, not going to let my dream go without trying. Really hope that one day I be able to write songs about God and how He helped me through it all, if I ever reached to that level. But I try, shall give it my best shot. This is the only one I got, just have to do it. Really thankful for it.

School going to be starting soon. Kinda excited and nervous at the same time. Butterflies in stomach. I just love schol so much. Guess that is cos I am finally studying something I really love. Something that I have always wanted. Without God, I won't have been able to enter and I am thankful for this. Life is getting better and better. There be ups and downs of course but with God by my side, it's ok. I really wish that my relationship with God grows closer each and every day. That's my biggest wish of all.

" Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Jesus Christ." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18