I signed up for dance lessons finally. I am so happy but I got a big problem. I calculated that I take a year to save up the money I need for my dance lessons. And well, I don't want my parents to pay. I don't want my dad to say that all I know how to do is ask for money. But I desperately need money. My bank account is dropping. For mission trip, I doubt I ask my dad.

Each time I wanna ask for money, what my dad scolded me before kept popping into my mind and it hurts. I am not the kind of girl who always ask for money. But because of that, I guess I no longer ask my dad for money for things like dance lessons or wadsoever. These are my dreams, I guess if I wanna take them, I pay them by myself then my dad can't use that against me and say that all I know is ask for money. I guess my friends will be like wondering why I like always ask Firdy (class treasurer) to pay me back the money that the class fund own me. Its not like I love money or wadsoever, none of the class people knows my current financial situation. If I really come across as a selfish person (in terms of keep wanting my money back) so be it, I can't help it. I really need the money. Why is it that to achieve your dreams requires money. Sigh...But I won't regret what I did to the money I save up for the past few mths. Guess in this world we are living in, everything needs money. Even if it means learning something that you really want to learn for years need money.

I don't think I wanna go join the photography competition, I don't have money go develop all those photos and it's not like I am going to win anyway. I am not even good at it and I don't have a good camera to take photos anyway. Again, I need money. Sigh... But no matter what, I will go for mission trip even if it means taking money out of my bank. I will do that and well I have to do that anyway on Mon, need to pay Uncle Luke. I wanna ask my parents for money but I think I shall not. I dun wanna be hurt again by these words "All you know is ask for money." and it's not the hurt is gone, it's still there. Each time I recall the words, I still hurt and it hurts so badly my tears starts falling and yes I am crying now.