I am very sad now. Her I am 20 years old and there are things that I wished I was able to learn when I was young like dancing, acting, ice skating, playing musical instruments etc. But I didnt accomplish any. All I have is unfulfiled dreams. Will they stayed that way? I only have 3 more years before I have to work. By then, where will I get the time to do all that. I envyed people who get to dance, ice skate, play instruments all their life. Maybe I am not born for all this. When I was young, I remember sking my parents to let me learn them but the answer was no. I can still remembered how sad I was and how I wished upon the stars thinking that they come true but till today, none came true. I want to go learn all these but I am in need of money and of course, I am not going to ask my parents. I dun wanna be called as a girl who only know how to ask for money. If only my parents knew how much I wanted all these but they would never know. I am not close with any of my parents. After all that happened all these past years, it is just hard to communicate with them.

I guess the only person who understands me, who knows my desires will be God and I wish He could tell me right now what to do? Am I to give up all these childhood dreams? Only God knows and I wish He reveal His plan to me soon but of course God do things at His own timing, not ours. Guess the only thing I should do right now is to trust God. He knows what is best for me and when is the best time to have it. If ever His plan do not include all these, I will be very upset but I will give them up.

You know, sometimes I feel that I am talking to myself when blogging and talking to God too. And I know God is here beside me. He is the only one who can dry my tears, take away my burdens from my heart and replace it with peace that comes from Him, makes me smile and then make me tear again but this time, they are happy tears because He cared for me. He picks me up when I fall. He is always there beside me, never leaving my side. And best of all, He loves me for me, not for the way I look or act, but love me for me.

I guess in a way it does not matter how many more times my parents or friends may hurt me by their words or actions because each time that happens, I become closer to God and He teaches me something each time, making me a better person. I am glad. Haha... I really talked a lot. Now, I guess I am not sad anymore. Thanks to God.

Thanks to God...