Sometimes I wonder if I should say the things I type on this blog to my friends... I mean as brothers and sisters in Christ, we should share with others our experience. Oh well, maybe writing a blog is for sharing with christian blog readers but that is if they happen to chance upon my blog right? I really hope that God can work through me and touched someone's heart and soul by the things I type on the blog.

Some of my friends know that I have a video project to do for 4D class. I remembered asking God to help me I think and somehow I knew in my heart that I should do a story about a girl revolving around God and hope. But I ditch this idea because I was afraid of what my classmates will think if I do something that is kinda related to God and christianity. In the end, I came up with an idea of a boy on a quest to fall asleep but it was too tough so I ended up thinking of doing a girl who tried to go asleep and then ditched it for another idea of an animal trying to go to sleep. Erm... Come to think of it, why in the world did I do about falling asleep. Must be because I was rather sleep deprived then. I just realised it revolves around the idea of sleeping. I wasted 2 weeks plus on all that 3 ideas... 2 weeks plus is really a lot. In the end, I decided to do the story that came to me at first about a girl (which is a bit like me), hope and GOD. You know after today's sunday school praise and worship session, I could not help thinking about the "Jonah" song... You know the one that goes something like "Jonah, Jonah, have you heard, say the Lord "go preach my word" Jonah say "That's not for me" took a ship and flee to sea. Hey Jonah Jonah (x3), you should obey the Lord". You know if I have listened to God in the first place and just not like what I feel bother me and do what God told me to do instead, I would not have been so stressed up then. Guess that is the consequences I have to go through for not obeying God and when I did ibey God in the end, it felt so right. And really it's amazing how my classmates laugh at the funny parts of my half completed movie and how some of them wanted me to complete it so they can watch everything. God is amazing isn't he? I am glad that I finally learn to listen... even if I had to learn it through the hard way.

Today, we also talk about forgive and forget. It reminds me of my past and how I let Satan hhave a threshold in my heart. It is my fault that I didn't safeguard my heart. I like hatred take over. I allow myself to be angry, I kept on denying the truth even though I know it is the truth. It took me more than 5 years to get over everything. I was this bitter child who puts on a mask around friends and on rare occasions, my temper and anger overwhelmed me that I erupted and vented my anger on my friends. Sorry my friends, didn't mean it to be that way. Just glad that I finally accepted the truth. Finally glad that God help me let go. Even though the incident really hurt me badly but really... if that incident didn't happen, I won't have get to experience God's love. I wouldn't have known how much God love me. I finally forgiven but I have not forgotten. I can't possibly forget an incident that led me to believe in God even more. I love God and I am glad He loves me too. He is the best father I can ever have in my entire life and I am very grateful to have Him in my life and I want it to stay that way forever. I don't wanna leave God ever.

Today I learn so much during the sermon. I wish I can be baptized if only I have the courage to ask my parents about it. There is definitely one thing I have to get God to help me and that is my temper. To learn to control my emotions better. I am a super emotional person. Very emotional. It has its good and its bad side. Its just that with me the bad side can be very bad. Its really time to take off the old and put on the new. Of course I won't expect a 360 degree change overnight but I will as time progresses but you never know, God might just do a 360 degree change in me. Afterall He is God, the greatest of all, the one who created me. Nothing is impossible to Him. So glad I got to know God, I wish my friends can know Him too. God is too great to keep to oneself. Haha... Happy, very happy!